The “Healthy Pretty” Hair Salon (10/11)

2015

Điệp had convinced me to go to a hair salon for her styling appointment in preparation for her friend’s daughter’s wedding ceremony. When we walked into the salon, we were overwhelmed with the acidic smell of hair spray. They needed to look into some sort of ventilation system. The interior was painted in a tacky pink that was ever so slightly stained by brownish patches. 

The young girls wore tight fluro dresses, accentuating their pale complexions and long black hair. They welcomed us at the front door with high-pitched enthusiasm and took us personally to our seats. 

“You girls should cover up more, or else men will get the wrong idea”, I remarked as the girls gave a flirty chuckle and continued their jobs. 

Điệp and I sat on the pleather chairs which had been frayed at the hem. The mirrors had been speckled with hairspray remnants and fingerprints. 

“Would you like a happy massage, sir?” asked one of the staff to the young man sitting next to me. The young man refused with an uncomfortable smile. 

“Can I have a happy massage, please? I’ve been aching for days. My wife has been dragging me all over Saigon like a dog. I think I deserve one of those.” I asked.

Without acknowledging my humour, one of the girls had started shifting towards the curtain to prepare for my happy massage.

“No, no. My husband’s fine. He’ll just have a haircut for today.” interfered Điệp as she gave me a stern glare. 

“This is exactly what I am talking about. This woman is always telling me what to do and what not to do, now she won’t even let me get a massage,” I proclaimed to the entire hair salon.

“Do you know what happy massa?” 

I was confused about why she suddenly started conversing in English.

“Why?” I asked.

“They want to touch your ding dong.”

I nervously looked at the masseuse who had already lathered her hands with oil.

“Oh no no no. I just remembered. I need to pick up the dầu chéo quẩy for the wedding. See you in a few hours, honey.” 

I hastily kissed my wife and left utter disturbance.